Cast (roles for 3 female identifying people, 3 male identifying people, 1 female or male identifying person):

TEACHER – Played by a disembodied, androgynous voice with a strange, slightly accented way of talking.
JOAN – Late 40s, wears a lot of clothes and jewelry from India. She is a therapist and sex educator in colleges, high schools, and in private practice with couples. 
JUDY – Maybe 50, is Joan’s partner. She works at O magazine as a top editor in the art department – a few times a year, she finds herself in the same room with Oprah. She’s the kind of person who only needs four hours of sleep per night. She gets a lot of email. 
ALICIA – 30-ish, strawberry-blonde (sometimes more strawberry, sometimes more blonde) from Southern California. She is the kind of person who manages to make a lot of noise even when she’s “in silence.” She has zippers on her clothes and bag. She has wrappers that must be unwrapped. She has bracelets that jangle. 
NED – Somewhere in his 40s, has had a severe run of bad luck worse than the worst country-western song. 
RODNEY – Mid-30s, ageless, fit, gorgeous, grew up in the Pacific Northwest, and teaches yoga in New York and the Hamptons (in the summer). He is married to a woman named Nadine who also teaches yoga. Rodney and Nadine have had articles about them in various local yoga magazines and are designing a line of vegan bags, wallets, and jewelry together.
JAN – 50-ish, is from a small town in Finland. He misses his son. He is hoping maybe this retreat will have an answer for him, where more traditional religious experiences have failed. He also greatly overestimated his familiarity with the English language.